A Bird’s Eye View #522 – 29th November, 2017

Greetings one and all. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, I must point out that almost everything below is true, probably around 99%. However, the whole truth is withheld because, as a wise Valley man known as Deekin’ once said, “If I told you the whole truth then you’d be as smart as me”… I like your thinkin,’ Deekin’…

Let’s start this week with the Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one visit to the Valley this month. That is Thursday, December 14 from 2-4pm…#545 – The monthly Barn Sale returns this coming Saturday/Sunday, December 2/3 from 10am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way, just north of Boonville – plenty of bargain Xmas gift possibilities available… #546 – The Anderson Valley Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday from 1-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, visiting the Museum is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #547 – The A.V. Lending Library takes place at The Fairgrounds and is run by The Unity Club. They are open Tuesday 1.30-4.30pm and Saturday 2-4pm…#548 – And speaking of the Unity Club, their annual Holiday Bazaar is coming up on Saturday, December 9 at the Apple Hall in Boonville from 10am-4pm. Christmas gifts and food, raffle, snack bar, and my personal favorite, photographs with Santa Claus, who, let me assure you, is neither myself nor a thinly-disguised A.V.A. Supremo Bruce Anderson despite vicious rumors to the contrary…
As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, November 30, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken “Bleu” Casserole with Chocolate Kahlua Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, December 5, the lunch will feature Meatloaf, Mashed potatoes and gravy, followed by Wendy’s Chocolate Oatmeal Bars. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal – it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Furthermore, on Thursdays the Center offers a Diabetes Workshop – in English from 1-3pm and in Spanish from 5.30-7.30pm. These are hosted by the A.V. Health Center and to register please call 707-895-3477… Meanwhile, on Tuesday and Thursday at 9am the Center offers ‘Young at Heart Exercise’ with Linda Boudoures… Thursdays at 9am it’s the Water Color Painting Group, with Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class at 11am. The Senior Center Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Mondays, and to Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don’t forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

Moving quickly on to a few quick thoughts from the regulars’ discussions this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue… This week, I’m just going to ramble on and share my humble opinions about this, that, and the other…
… Television beats the movies in telling diverse stories… Introspection is a dying skill… Without the gift giving and hype of Christmas, the pomp and nationalism of July 4th, and an absence of the various drawbacks and lack of general appreciation for what the other holidays actually mean, Thanksgiving is arguably the best holiday in this country… When some people are asked a question about something they know nothing or very little about, they should be encouraged to say, “I don’t know”. That is o.k. and is a very acceptable response is such instances. It will also save everyone lots of time… All citizens should get tags (or chips) for their pets. It’s easy and cheap atwww.tagxpress.com and all those hard working volunteers at the Animal Rescue, plus the many other animal lovers in The Valley, will certainly appreciate it… All attendees at Pot Lucks in The Valley must bring a dish or alcohol large enough to feed or quench the thirst of at least eight guests. A stick of celery/ day-old bread/two beers will no longer suffice… No more ego-vineyards are allowed. Particularly if it is to be owned by: one, a wine-guzzling know-all who assumes they can make wine just because he/she has made their millions in an entirely different field of expertise; two, someone living in some far flung location and has never lived her; and three, people who wouldn’t know a wild hog if it bit them in the ass or a Turkey Vulture if it defecated on their head… Anyone, anywhere in public, starting a sentence with “You should” will be fined $1 on the spot. All monies going towards the Save the Turkey Vulture Fund…

I’m outta here – I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, and almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture – saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture9@gmail.com>
p.p.s. Hi, George – hope you and Sheila are well… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?… Bobwhite Quail – keep up the knitting!

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