A Bird’s Eye View #509 – 23rd August, 2017

Greetings one and all. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, I must express utter dismay at the failure of my column to appear in last week’s print issue of the AVA. – it was visible in the on-line version at www.theava.com. I received numerous phone calls and emails expressing concern and disappointment at this development. The ‘Powers-that-Be’ were unavailable for comment but are no doubt laboring under the delusion that people read this newspaper for some of the stuff that appears on pages 6 thru’ 12 where most of us know it is pages 2 thru’ 5 that are what really count. However, I do know where the ‘Powers’ live and I shall visit there myself and you can rest assured that warnings as to their future conduct will be delivered… Oh, and if anyone sees me urinating on my feet while I am there, that is merely the way we Turkey Vultures keep cool and is not in any way some sort of gesture towards them…
Let’s start this week with another in our series, ’This Trump Thing,’ or as it had been known previously for nearly 250 years up until now – The U.S. Presidency… Donald Trump doubled down on his assertion that there was “blame on both sides” for the violence in Charlottesville over the weekend. He claimed that “very, very violent” groups opposed the white supremacists protesting against the removal of a statue of a rebel general. Mr Trump asked whether statues of George Washington, the country’s first president, were to be next… All the hinges are gone now. The rails are far behind. The trolley is missing and presumed lost. A day earlier the president* came down to the lobby of his Manhattan tower, ostensibly to sign an executive order on “infrastructure.” He then took questions and we all went on a magic carpet ride through what he really thinks about the events in Charlottesville last weekend. For three days, whatever sensible people remain at Camp Runamuck had been trying to find some way to run damage control on the president*’s initial, ridiculous non-response to those events, whereupon, on Tuesday, the president* stepped up to the mic and blew all that work into tiny bits.
Of course, Trump’s complete and utter ineptitude here probably has something to do with the fact he knows nothing about history and cares less about what actually happened. It also likely has something to do with the fact that the president appears to be melting down before our eyes, his core having overheated from his own gross incompetence, negative press coverage, and the toxic resentment and bitterness that has long been stewing deep within him. He was tense. He was choleric. This was not a presidential press conference. It was a glorified barroom argument that exposed quite clearly how angry he is that he had to come out and make that second statement in which somebody forced him to say how bad Nazis are. He’d clearly been stewing about that for at least 24 hours. And that’s what takes Tuesday’s explosion beyond the realm of simple mockery.
There’s an audience out there for every lunatic assertion the president* made. We saw it in full flower last Saturday. And he knows it’s there, too. He knows that it’s the one segment of the American population still guaranteed to give his fragile-if-monumental ego the constant boost that it needs. He’s so much better suited to being an owner of a casino in Vegas. As many knew as soon as he declared his candidacy, Trump is not fit for this job. But the result has been worse than we ever reasonably could have imagined…

Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #542 – The first of three fun events in Boonville this weekend is the appearance of musical group BoonFire at The Buckhorn on Friday night, August 25 at 7pm… #543 – Then on Saturday night, August 26 at Lauren’s Restaurant at 9pm, it’s ‘Open Mic’ night with host Sarah Larkin; sign-ups at 8.30pm… #544 – And on Sunday, August 27 from 4-7pm at The Redwood Grove in The Fairgrounds, it’s the annual fundraiser for the A.V. Ambulance put on by the A.V. Lions, with bbq chicken and tri-tip, and live music with the Joe Blow Band… #545 – The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits to the Valley this month. They will be here twice in September, on Thursdays, September 14 and 28, from 2-4pm at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo… #546 – The A.V. Lending Library takes place at The Fairgrounds and is run by The Unity Club. They are open Tuesday 1.30-4.30pm and Saturday 2-4pm… #547 – The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dump Executive Director, Mike Mannix, rewards good customers with a star but will be very harsh with anyone thinking they can leave dead animals!…
As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, August 24, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Beef Stroganoff with Noodles and Banana Pudding for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, August 29, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature Honey-Mustard Baked Chicken followed by Orange Cream Dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal – it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Furthermore, on Thursdays the Center offers a Diabetes Workshop – in English from 1-3pm and in Spanish from 5.30-7.30pm. These are hosted by the A.V. Health Center and to register please call 707-895-3477… Meanwhile, on Tuesday and Thursday at 9am the Center offers ‘Young at Heart Exercise’ with Linda Boudoures… Thursdays at 9am it’s the Water Color Painting Group, with Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class at 11am. The Senior Center Community Bus goes to Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don’t forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… Yes, that is a sporty, albeit somewhat weathered, Mercedes that can be seen in the A.V.Advertiser’s parking lot on frequent occasions these days… Surely the long-held socialist leanings of the newspaper’s powers-that-be have not softened over time and now they have found the comforts of the so called “Best or nothing” vehicle made by the descendants of one of the world’s earliest worldwide capitalists just too tempting to ignore?… One can only hope that it was an unwelcome visitor, but if that is the  case why does he kept returning? I think we should be told…
… Latest news on ‘The Principals’ issue… School begins today (August 23) and, following the departure of the two most recent ‘leaders’ from our local schools, new Principals are in place at each – Jim ‘Good Guy’ Snyder taking over from the inadequate Keri St. Joer at the High School, and a woman whose name I have not been able to discover at the time of writing taking over at the Elementary School… For a brief time, rumors had it that there was some consideration given to the idea of some sort of leadership-by-committee at the Elementary. There are good people at the school so that may have worked. Meanwhile, whoever the new Principal is, she will surely be an improvement on the regime of Ms./‘Dr’ K. Reddick that just ended, not a day too soon in the opinion of many…
… My fellow eating and drinking buddy, Steve Sparks, informs me that he is planning to start up a new version of the very popular and useful A.V. Grange Newsletter – the Valley information sheet that stopped publication a few years ago. Steve hopes to produce the ‘A.V. Community Bulletin’ every month (rather than the Newsletter’s quarterly appearance) and to include even more useful details about the Valley’s social events, organizations, meetings, services, eateries, wineries, and general information… It will be a free, four-page handout of which 600 copies will distributed throughout the Valley each month at many locations. Steve hopes to have the first issue ready for October… Anyone interested in making sure information appears for their organization/meeting/event/etc, or wishing to be one of just nine local businesses who will get an advertising spot in this new publication, can call Steve at the Bulletin’s number, 353-0369, or email at avcbulletin@gmail.com…Hopefully he will walk the walk after taking the talk with me on this subject over several beers and shots of Jameson’s Irish Whiskey!…
I’m outta here – I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again: be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, and almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture – saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture9@gmail.com>
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

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