All Valley Blogs

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… How about a great bit of news? Over $5K was made in profits from the recent crab feed to benefit the A.V. Senior Center! Given the price of crab ($5 a pound), this is an exceptional total and goes to show that not only did people come out to support the Seniors, they also spent money generously at the bar and on raffle tickets and silent auction when they were there. On behalf of our Seniors, I have been asked to pass on their deep appreciation to the many people who contributed in one way or another to putting the event together, and of course those who attended this wonderful gathering – a virtually unique event at which the community sits down to eat together…

And for your Quote of the Week, let’s stay with good causes and turn to this comment from Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892), the American poet, essayist, journalist, humanist, and wit, who perceptively pointed out, “Charity and personal force are the only investments worth anything:… And of course, I should also mention these wise words from Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) the English philosopher, statesman, and scientist who said, “In charity there is no excess” – not when it comes to the giving-folks of Anderson Valley it would seem…

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #117 – This coming weekend sees the 6th Annual A.V. Film Festival taking place at The Grange on Friday/Saturday, January 27th-28th. The program is as eclectic as ever with some excellent documentaries, a film for all the family on the Saturday night, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the A.V.H.S. Film Class, with some films accompanied by the filmmakers themselves, present to discuss their projects. Beer from the A.V. Brewery, local wines, and hot and cold food is available, including delicious tacos from Alicia’s Restaurant. All profits will go to the A.V. Senior Center, A.V. Animal Rescue, and the A.V. High School Film Class. All Festival details can be found on the Festival website which is at www.andersonvalleyfilmfestival.org… #118 - The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back – they will be at The A.V. Farm Supply tomorrow, Thursday, January 26th from 2-3.30pm. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time - everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen… #119 – A few Crab Feed tickets are still available for the second of the Valley’s two crab feeds but it is anticipated they will sell out very soon, if they haven’t already. This is the 10th ‘Original’ Crab Feed, benefiting the Catholic Church, and it is to be held on Saturday, February 4th. For ticket information, call Gloria Ross at 895-3071. As usual, the event is to be held at The Apple Hall in Boonville and, as I’ve said many times, together with the previous crab feed, this is one of the best pure Valley-dweller gatherings of the year…

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… Following the aforementioned crab feed, several revelers continued with their evening at The Boonville Saloon (formerly The Boonville Lodge). By 1am, three of them were in no shape to drive home to Philo so, to solve this dilemma, bartender Cindy Hughbanks stepped up and drove them there. Now that’s what I call excellent bartending and a full service bar!…

… Another ‘feel good’ story that regulars at The 3-Dot were sharing this past week was the sight of several employees and out-of-town sales people employed by the A.V. Brewery, led by co-owner Trey, enjoying a hearty lunch at the Senior Center. Brewery manager, Fal Allen is on the Senior Center Board and no doubt encouraged this and I must say it was very pleasing to see. Some Valley business folks are never seen out and about in the community and that has always puzzled me…

… The 3-Dot was closed on Sunday afternoon, so along with many regulars I endured the disappointing loss by the 49ers among a large crowd of local 49er fans who assembled at The Buckhorn, Boonville. For one and all, the afternoon was no doubt an emotional rollercoaster that ultimately crashed and burned following the bonehead play by the ‘Niners’ second-string punt-returner – his second such egregious era of the game, which together led directly to 10 points for the opposition. I imagine he left San Francisco on a red-eye flight very early on Monday morning, never to return… Nevertheless, not to make light of such a disappointing loss to the big bad N.Y. Giants (in overtime 17-20), there was a silver-lining - the large plate of hot and spicy wings were back to their very best and when served with a pint of Guinness for $12, the excruciating loss was almost bearable… But not quite…

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… And while it is a little late, I’m sure the sentiments still apply when I pass on the best wishes for many happy returns on the Birthdays of these Valley folks, who all will enjoy their special day in January: Shirley Hulbert, Jim Nickless, Vicky Centers, Gene Walker, Eva Johnson, Sue Davis, Patrick Ford, and Maureen Bowman…

This past Saturday night saw the first of the Valley’s two Crab Feed gatherings – arguably the best ‘pure’ Valley events of the year in the sense that the vast majority of those who attend are from across the wide spectrum of Valley folks. This one benefited the A.V. Senior Center and with a turnout of over 250, a very brisk business at the bar, and the sale of many raffle tickets, I’m sure that the Center will be most grateful for the community’s very generous support. So many people come together to put together an event of this size, from the Sr. Center Board led by the effervescent and tireless Sheri Hansen, to the many volunteers on the night, including the very capable wait staff from the A.V. High School cheerleading and football teams, led by coaches Keri Sanchez and John Toohey, to Harold Hulbert, who organized the crab, and of course the various donating wineries and the A.V. Brewery, plus the local folks and small businesses who provided raffle prizes. With Dean Titus and fellow musicians Craig Titus, Chris Rossi, Brian Wood, and talented singer Susan Clark, providing both background and dance music, the atmosphere was wonderful and it was a joy to be a part of such a special event. Well done to one and all!…

Well that’s enough ‘gushing’ for this curmudgeonly Turkey Vulture, let’s move on to the Quote of the Week and share with you some words on the continuing major talking point about around here – the weather. As you read this, hopefully the rain is pouring down outside because, as everyone will readily let you know – we need it! Here’s a good one from Charles Dudley Warner (1829-1900), the American essayist, novelist, and friend of Mark Twain, who very perceptively said, “Everyone talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it”… And if it really does come down in torrents this week, then let’s hope it’s not too much all at once so that we have to recall William Shakespeare’s great line, one used by myself often in the company of Hummingbird, “’Tis a naughty night to be naked in”…

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #422 - Crab Feed tickets are still available for the second of our two crab feeds but it is anticipated they will sell out once again. This is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed that will be held on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Just like the ‘feed’ this past weekend, it is to be held at The Apple Hall in Boonville and, as I’ve said many times, together with the similar Senior Center event this is one of the best Valley gatherings of the year… #423 - The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital return for a second January visit to the Valley next Thursday, January 26th. They will be at The A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm-3.30pm… #424 – Coming up is the 6th Annual A.V. Film Festival that will take place at The Grange on Friday/Saturday, January 27th-28th. The program is as eclectic as ever with some excellent documentaries, a film for all the family on the Saturday night, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the A.V.H.S. Film Class. All the details can be found on the Festival website which can be found at www.andersonvalleyfilmfestival.org…

Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… Raised eyebrows, comments of incredulity, and questions as to the man’s sanity, were all in evidence in the 3-Dot upon hearing that dedicated newspaperman, Bruce Anderson of the A.V.A., last weekend declined an invitation to the 49er play-off game against the Saints. It was not just a regular invitation though. Let Bruce explain – ‘Such is my commitment to an unfettered press, I turned down my nephew Robert Mailer Anderson’s conditional offer to watch Saturday’s playoff game from the owner’s box. He said I was invited but I couldn’t write about the experience. So, with a heavy heart, I declined’… I must say that this was an amazing act of sports martyrdom, which modesty no doubt forbade the esteemed editor from mentioning in his column. Obviously most of our regulars at the 3-Dot just thought the man had taken too much of his medication to turn down such an offer, but hoped he was able to watch this fantastic game, that saw the 49ers gain a famous victory, from the comfort of his luxurious leather Barcalounger, the Presidential model obviously…

… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’… Buzzard reports, ‘It’s quiet around here. Following a relatively slow holiday period, from the point of view of our local small businesses, the first couple of weeks of 2012 have not been great either. January is always a little slow but February and March generally slower. With that in mind I encourage the community to support your local businesses even more than ever at this time of year and, if you have a choice, put your hard-earned dollars back into the Valley before you think about ‘going over the hill’ to Ukiah. It would be very disappointing, although perhaps not entirely shocking given the current financial climate, if anyone had to close-up shop but hopefully with us all pulling together and thinking locally, this will not happen. If it did, I would have to see it as yet another sign that the Apocalypse is fast approaching…’

Well, after this emotional rollercoaster of a column, now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace…

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… And what better place to start than with the startling news that has been reverberating around the Valley over the past few days - ‘All that Good Stuff’, the Valley’s one-stop-shop for so many needs, for so many years, is apparently under threat of closure! Let me hand over to The Valley Observer, Steve Sparks who has sent me an update on this shocking development…

“After twenty-two years in business, providing many, many customers with a wide range of goods and services, from greeting cards and birthday gifts to a copying machine and a U.P.S. drop-off, it appears that ‘All that Good Stuff’s’ landlord, Johnny Schmitt, proprietor and chef at The Boonville Hotel, is thinking seriously about other plans for the business space in the Farrer Building that he and his partners own in the very heart of Boonville. If these plans come to fruition, storeowner, Leslie Hummel, having just negotiated a sale to store employee Claudia Espinoza, a sale that was to provide a retirement nest-egg for Leslie and a wonderful opportunity for Claudia to run her own business, will have to close and make way for a different establishment to be run by Johnny and his partners. Originally this new business was rumored to be a wine and cheese tasting room but following further enquiries something other than this is planned. What I can tell you at this point, is that the plan is for a business also in the realm of fine foods, and thus very different to Leslie’s gift store etc.

Now, before I go on, this is not necessarily going to happen in the next month or so, in fact it may not happen at all if the members of the community with whom I spoke over the past weekend have anything to do with it. Or perhaps Johnny will reconsider and write it off as an idea whose time is a long way off. However, if he sticks with the plans he has recently expressed to those affected, it is likely that the best possible scenario for the tenants is for some sort of temporary ‘stay-of-execution’. In that case, the store will remain as it is for as long as Leslie and Claudia can get Johnny to agree to at the meeting held between the interested parties this week. Nevertheless, whatever that time period may be, and three years may well be the maximum, the inevitable will happen and at that time Leslie and Claudia will be left with virtually nothing to show for their endeavors. The current store would be worthless and unsaleable with such plans in place for its future in the relative short term.

Needless to say the community will not be happy with this development. Leslie is personally very popular and is regarded as a mainstay amongst the small business owners of the Valley. Many people have already expressed disapproval of Johnny’s proposed actions and I have been contacted by four people close to the situation and encouraged to write about events and pass it on to the Turkey Vulture column. There are always two-sides to such stories and I should say that one of those people is a confidant of Johnny’s, so both sides have been heard to some degree, although I have not spoken to Johnny himself, despite attempts to do so that have not worked out, through the fault of nobody.

It appears that the new operation would be run by Johnny and partners with Leslie and Claudia having no legal recourse to stop it - the lease ran out several months ago and Leslie has been on a month-to-month lease since then. Claudia was going to pay Leslie off for the business over the next few years, it is her only option, and Leslie was going to rely on this for a significant part of her retirement income. That deal will obviously be compromised if Johnny’s perceived intentions are carried out and Leslie will have nothing to show for her twenty-two years at the store - hence the ‘angry villagers’ I spoke with over the weekend.

I have heard that ‘aesthetically’ the quirky store is not in keeping with the landlords’ ideas about what businesses ‘fit’ in their Farrer Building, alongside the Mosswood Market, the Farmers Mercantile Store, and Paysanne Ice Cream. It is not Healdsburg, but I think you get my meaning. That is fine of course, the businesses all provide good quality products, and Johnny, to his credit, has put as great deal of effort into improving the look of the place and it’s surroundings. Furthermore, he is not responsible for the retirement plans of Leslie Hummel and is doing what he sees is best for himself and his partners. However, to add a store that would complement these businesses at the expense of such a versatile community store as ‘All that Good Stuff’ is surely not the way to go. Not in the eyes of the vast majority of local people it isn’t and certainly not if Johnny wants to continue to be seen as ‘a man of the community’, a position he has fostered over the years. Moving Leslie/Claudia out and going ahead with this new idea will swiftly bring that perception of him to an ugly end…

Johnny has expressed his grief at having to do this to his long-standing tenant. Whilst this may well be true, and I have no reason to think otherwise, the real question is why do this in the first place? ‘All that Good Stuff’ is a unique store for the community, one that provides many of us with ‘Stuff’ (goods and services) that you cannot get anywhere else around here. This fact, coupled with the ill-conceived idea to kick out one of the more popular local business owners after twenty-two years of serving the community, really does mean that any backlash hurled in the direction of Johnny would not be at all unexpected.

What can be done about this? Well, as I said above, nothing legally. However, perhaps the landlords will be quite sensitive to any negative public opinion, which could well lead to a backing-off on their behalf. Other than that it is difficult to see what else the aggrieved tenants can do about this situation. Community ill will and a boycott of The Hotel by Leslie’s ‘crowd’ is hardly a significant threat since the vast majority of them are not regular customers there. However, I have heard of some people suggesting they will boycott the Hotel if this happens and others have already contacted Johnny to say so in writing. I would be surprised if Johnny actually shopped at Leslie’s store himself and most people I have spoken to feel that he has misread the situation and has no idea that the feelings will be very strong in support of ‘our Good Stuff’. He probably does now. Nevertheless, from his point of view, he is in the process of making what he believes to be a sound business decision, and ultimately that is his right of course.

Ideally for most in the community, Johnny may realize that his plans will cause more ill feeling than he imagined, or wish to confront, and he and his partners will decide to forget the idea. That may well be the wise thing to do. It would certainly be viewed as the ethical move and one that would bring him kudos rather than the undoubted dishonor that will be placed upon him if the idea moves ahead. But if it does, then I believe this past weekend’s relatively mild tirades of negativity expressed his way are just the beginning…”

Well thanks for the report, Mr. Sparks. I think a public protest, an old-fashioned chanting of ‘Hands off our Stuff!’ and a placard-waving gathering outside either the Hotel and/or Leslie’s Store might have an effect, but I’m just a troublemaker and could be wrong… Meanwhile, before moving on let’s have a couple of relevant Quotes of the Week… First it’s the words of Oliver Goldsmith (1730 - 1774), the writer, poet and physician, a native of Ireland, from the Anglo-Irish Ascendancy, who said, “Honor sinks where commerce long prevails”… And a second comment would be that of Henry Ford (1863 - 1947) who said, “A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business”… I couldn’t agree more, Henry!

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #64 - The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back for a visit to the Valley on two occasions this month. They will be at The A.V. Farm Supply tomorrow Thursday, January 12th and then again in two weeks on the 26th, from 2pm-3.30pm each day. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time - everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen… #65 - Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these very popular annual Valley events will benefit the Senior Center and takes place this coming Saturday, January 14th - just a few days away! You can call Gina Parlini for tickets at 895-3609 or stop by the Senior Center or any of these other Valley locations – Lemons’ Market, Laughing Dog Books, All That Good Stuff, and the Mendocino County Fair Grounds… Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year… As my attorney told me many times, and I’ve since shared his words with you on many occasions – “trust me on this, you can thank me later”…

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… ‘Gone but not forgotten’ – the following Valley Folk have passed in the last fifteen months or so. They are fondly remembered by many… James ‘Jim’ Gowan, Arthur Knight, Chad Ewing, Michael Bowman, Mildred Gowan (née Hulbert), Austin Hulbert (born in April 1917 and, aged 94, the Valley’s second oldest person – behind 95 year old Walter ‘Shine’ Tuttle), Tammy Housley, Howard ‘Mouse’ Morse, Skip Harris, Betty Sue Adams, Mary Alice (Ruddock) Smith, Matt Piper, Bill Mannix, Joyce Skrbek, Dee Reynolds, Jim Clow, Joyce Christen, James Monroe ‘Bo’ Hiatt, and Stanley Johnson… There have no doubt been others and I apologize for their omission…

And for your Quotes of the Week, here are some heart-warming thoughts on the passing of loved ones… First it’s these words from Helen Keller, the deaf/blind author, political activist, and lecturer, who said, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us”… And there is this wonderful thought proposed in an Eskimo Legend – “Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy”… And finally, the anonymously written but poignant, “Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear”…

Moving on… Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #64 - The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back for a visit to the Valley on two occasions this month. They will be at The A.V. Farm Supply on Thursdays, January 12th and 26th from 2pm-3.30pm each day. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time - everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen… #65 - Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these very popular annual Valley events will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 14th - just ten days away! You can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609 or stop by the Senior Center or any of these other Valley locations – Lemons’ Market, Laughing Dog Books, All That Good Stuff, and the Mendocino County Fair Grounds… Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year… As my attorney told me many times, and I’ve since told you too – “trust me on this, you can thank me later”…

The Three-Dot Lounge was closed over the holiday but that allowed me some time to come up with some of my personal hopes and wishes for 2012…

- Chocolate Chip and Vanilla Ice Cream will be in plentiful supply at every grocery store in The Valley…

- All drivers shall follow the rules of the road. That most definitely includes California Vehicle Code # 21656 – ‘Slower vehicles must pull over to allow others to pass’. No driving over 60mph anywhere; no driving under 40mph in the 55mph limit without pulling over in the Valley’s many turnouts to let others pass. Of course driving at 30mph or less in town is to be strictly enforced, with very grave consequences for those who do not follow these guidelines. Do I hear ‘feed ‘em to the pigs’ from anyone?…

- All drivers parking at 90 degrees to the sidewalk outside businesses and stores will have their vehicles egged. Eggs will be paid for (upon proof of receipt and photograph of the eggs on the windscreen) by Captain Rainbow, as this is his pet peeve and he wants to see the practice brought to an end as much as any of us…

- Residents will be asked to ‘verbally confront’ the ‘biker hordes’ when those weekend visitors (mostly accountants, bankers, and lawyers posing in their rarely worn, stiff and shiny leathers, pretending to be ‘rebels’) arrive this summer and annoyingly begin revving up their very noisy Harleys. From now on hopefully they will be pointed at and told, “Don’t be late at the office on Monday morning”… What are they going to do? Throw their man-purses at us?…

- When some people are asked a question about something they know nothing or very little about, they should be encouraged to say, “I don’t know”. That is o.k. and is a very acceptable response is such instances. It will also save everyone lots of time…

- All citizens must get tags for their pets. It’s easy and cheap at www.tagxpress.com and all those hard working volunteers at the Animal Rescue, plus the many other animal lovers in The Valley, will certainly appreciate it… Anyone not abiding by this rule to be fined $1 and the monies collected to be donated to the A.V. Animal Rescue…

- All attendees at Pot Lucks in The Valley must bring a dish or some form of alcohol large enough to feed or quench the thirst of at least eight guests. A stick of celery/ days-old bread/two beers will no longer suffice…

- No more vineyards are allowed if they are to be owned by a wine-guzzling know-all who assumes they can make wine just because they have made their millions elsewhere in an entirely different expertise. This is to be rigidly enforced if such a person is living in some far flung location, has never lived here, and who wouldn’t know a wild hog if it bit him in the ass or a Turkey Vulture if it defecated on his head…

- Anyone, anywhere in public, starting a sentence with “You should” will be fined $1 on the spot. All monies going towards the Christmas Tree Fund…

- Phone service employees will be issued written warnings as to their future conduct if they are observed standing around for more than an hour at the side of the road pointing up in the air. Perhaps this will save time and then we would not be told that in order to have our phone repaired we have to stay at home and to expect the technician to arrive “sometime between 8am and 7pm”!…

- Caltran workers who are standing around doing nothing will not be allowed to scowl menacingly at drivers as they pass. It’s not clever, funny, or even that menacing, but it does seem to keep many of them from their work for long periods of time…

- When the power goes out, PG&E will not be able to tell us that they are “out of power” themselves. Lie to us - anything will do rather than this ridiculous and unsettling announcement that was heard over the radio waves around this time last year…

- When somebody calls to remind you of your appointment for something or other at their place of work, they should do so clearly and concisely, not by mumbling or by speaking so quickly that the message is undecipherable. That seems to me as if it really defeats their purpose?…

- All herky-jerky, whirling, twirling, hippy-dancing, whenever and wherever it breaks out in public, will be halted by concerned residents. Obviously this applies neither to the female movers who have rhythm nor the exotically-skilled belly dancers one occasionally sees, but it certainly does to the other 90% who make up this odd group…

- And finally, and perhaps most important of all - the limited choice in toilet tissue sold at the local stores will be enlarged in 2012 so as to include the really strong stuff that myself and The Four-eyed Woodpecker, to name just two, require to complete our daily ablutions satisfactorily and thus avoid the ‘internal self-examination’ we currently seem to have to go through every morning…

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… So, until we talk again, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Well that’s Christmas/Whatever-you-call-it ‘done and dusted’ and now on to Act 2 - New Year’s Eve! Try to enjoy yourselves and if someone is behaving badly just smile and walk away – you know it makes sense.

With all the excesses of the holiday season I have inevitably come to the conclusion that, like Alexander Woollcott, social commentator for ‘New Yorker’ magazine, almost “all of the things I enjoy doing are immoral, illegal, or fattening”. So, with the dawn of a new year upon us, and with new resolutions bursting forth, for the Quote of the Week let me offer you these wise words by Gore Vidal to think about as we move into 2012 – “Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television” – difficult to argue with that, I’d say…

Delicious cheeses, homemade biscotti and breads; succulent hams, turkeys, hot chicken wings, and rib roasts; unique and zesty guacamole and bean dips, potato salads, garlic mashed potatoes, bacon wrapped asparagus, etc., etc., etc., not to mention the accompanying wonderful local wines and thirst-quenching beers – yes the holidays at The Nest have been quite a binge so far… However, did you know that along with all those goodies, we Turkey Vultures also like our ‘veggies’? Yes, folks, a recent study of almost 400 of our pellets collected in the Castro Valley and Livermore areas in California showed that plant material was the single most common ingredient of the Turkey Vulture’s diet. The material consisted primarily of grass and leaves. Don’t let all this fool you, though. Animal food items in the pellets included: shrew, mole, squirrel, gopher, mouse, rat, rabbit, bird, reptile, insect, muskrat, opossum, raccoon, skunk, badger, sheep, and coyote. If not consumed and sterilized by the TV’s, these carcasses would have rotted on the ground and could have spread disease. We truly are nature’s garbage collectors and proud of it - “trust me on this - you can thank me later.”

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #131 – Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville is having a New Year’s Eve Dance Party with Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys, featuring Susan Clark. The music will start at 9:00pm with a $12 cover charge. Dinner served 5:00 - 9:00pm…. #132 - For many Valley folks of perhaps a different ilk, then The Boonville Saloon will have a party on the same night and this will most likely be a sort of alumni gathering for large numbers of the A.V.H.S. grads of 1970 to 2005 and their families and friends… #133 - Meanwhile, down the street at The Buckhorn there is an evening with a different flavor - Casino Night with four-course dinner, complimentary drinks, champagne at midnight, party favors, and $50 in casino chips… #134 - Crab Feed tickets are now available. The first of these will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 14^th - you can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609. Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4^th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071. Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year; as I’ve said many times before (in fact just moments ago in the previous paragraph) – “trust me on this, you can thank me later”…

Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… I am very pleased to report that ‘Confused of Comptche, California’ stopped by The 3-Dot this past week and shared some words of wisdom with the regulars… “Let me share with you a little Christmas anecdote. My great Uncle Ernest was born in 1908, and he had all his own teeth until the day he died. This isn’t as impressive as it might at first seem, however, as he died aged sixteen when he choked on a turkey bone on Christmas Day 1924”… I hope I wasn’t too late in sharing this tragic tale… Eat carefully…

… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’… Buzzard reports, “I thought I’d sit in for Turkey Vulture and do my own ‘Wine/Whine of the Week’… Having sipped a couple of glasses of the Claudia Springs Zinfandel with wild pig ribs on Christmas Eve, the choice for the Wine of the Week was easy – truly delicious, well done Bob and Claudia! My ‘Whine of the Week’ is far more in keeping with the Approach of the Apocalypse theme and it concerns the dreadful music played on Christmas morning on the Valley’s KZYX & Z radio station. After thirty minutes of dull and morose songs, I had to turn it off and scratch a blackboard with my claws. I know this is a subjective topic but what were they thinking of? Certainly not the vast majority of listeners, I’d say. Surely the show is not a private listening for the benefit of the presenter in a little room in Philo… I know, I know, they are volunteers and I realize it was Christmas Day and we should be grateful somebody showed up. With that in mind I even went back to the program, twice in fact, so that I might hear an improvement… But no, the choice of songs for such a festive morning continued to be most annoying and I turned it off until noon. That’s when Fred Wooley showed up on the airwaves with his ‘Audible Feast’ and, as always, provided us with some relevant and entertaining music - as many others frequently do, including Dianne Hering and Jimmy Humble to mention just two. As we are reminded repeatedly, KZYX & Z is ‘listener supported, community radio’ but sadly this will not be for much longer around Buzzardville Mountain if such programming as we were served up with on Xmas morning continues – and that would be a shame…

Oh, dear, did Buzzard upset somebody? Well, that’s unfortunate but I’m sure many others would agree with his comments about the Christmas morning broadcast… And some will possibly disagree – it is life in the Valley after all!… Meanwhile, until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Hopefully, the New Year will bring you happiness and good health and may your dreams come true for 2012… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace…

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Never let it be said that a Turkey Vulture is not a noble creature, particularly when it comes to admitting one’s mistakes. I recently wrote that the School Board members received health insurance through the school and that this surprised the few people in the Valley to whom the topic was mentioned. I personally thought this ‘perk’ was entirely plausible, given that the board is arguably making the most important decisions of any Valley board and was charged with designating large amounts of money to various projects. My initial source told me this was a fact. I did get a second source who also thought this benefit was quite possible. It should be mentioned that receipt of this ‘perk’ was not criticized, just that it was not a well-known fact. As it turns out, it is not a well-known fact because it is completely untrue!

This was pointed out to me by a Board member who was no doubt very surprised to hear through this column that he had this health insurance when in fact he knew that he most certainly did not. My source on that was incorrect and has since been fed to the pigs as a result of his sloppy investigation work. Meanwhile, the Board member and I talked it through in a dignified manner, I apologized sincerely, and, at the end of our conversation, handshakes were made and an assurance of our continued friendship was mutually agreed upon. I will endeavor to do my best to ensure that such an error does not occur again…

With this in mind, and for your Quote of the Week, I have found a couple of relevant comments on the issue of wrongdoing, both of which suggest that one error can undo a lot of good work… First it’s the English wit and historian, Thomas Fuller who said, “A small demerit extinguishes a long and worthwhile service.” And then there is the Latin proverb, “Those who are once found to be bad are presumed so forever.” Harsh stuff and a lesson learned by a humble Turkey Vulture…

So here we are again – another Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzai, or whatever, and every year it seems to get more frantic out there. However, up here at The Nest, Hummingbird and I plan to have a relatively calm and very relaxing few days. In fact, let’s be honest, ultimately this holiday is only really for the enjoyment of a couple of groups of people. As a result of spending many Christmas holidays in San Francisco, I feel that I can state with a degree of authority that Christmas is primarily for the enjoyment of gay men (they have the best Xmas parties) and children (for all the obvious reasons). Not that there is anything wrong with this of course, but I am neither, so I will no doubt eat, drink, and be merry in my own reserved and mellow manner… Meanwhile, if you’re out Xmas shopping try to remember that I’m an XXL; otherwise fresh carrion is always good…

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #21: Useful numbers at this time of year - for road conditions and closures call 1-800-gas-road (427-7623) and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743)-5000. I just thought you should know… #22 – The Quiz at Lauren’s Restaurant will take place as usual tomorrow, Dec 22nd at 7pm. Yes, it is near to Christmas, but if you’re going to be hunkered down at home with loved ones for two or three days then perhaps a night out in the Valley, sipping beer and wine, enjoying a tasty meal, and exercising the mind, would be ideal preparation… #23 – An early ‘heads-up’ for the 6th Annual A.V. Film Festival that will take place at The Grange on Friday/Saturday, January 27th-28th. The program is as eclectic as ever with some excellent documentaries, a film for all the family on the Saturday night, and the usual assortment of socially aware and environmental films, plus the recent work of the A.V.H.S. Film Class. All the details can be found on the Festival website which has recently been updated and can be found at www.andersonvalleyfilmfestival.org…

Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… With Xmas gifts still not purchased, some regulars were in panic mode this week. ‘Look no further’ I told them. ‘Crab Feed tickets are now available.’ The first of these will benefit the Senior Center and takes place on Saturday, January 14th - you can call Gina Pardini for tickets at 895-3609. Then it is the ‘Original’ Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4th for which you can get tickets by calling Gloria Ross at 895-3071… Both events are at The Apple Hall in Boonville and are two of the best Valley gatherings of the year; trust me on this, you can thank me later…

… The votes are in on the two ‘Best holiday season meal-deal dinners in the Valley’, both for less than $20. Our regulars have decided on Lauren’s Restaurant’s Hot Turkey Sandwich with gravy, cranberries, mashed potatoes and green beans and The Buckhorn’s Buffalo Burger with all the fixin’s and garlic fries. Having tried them both, I wholeheartedly agree, particularly when ‘devoured’ in the company of friends while guzzling a beer or two…

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we talk again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Unusually, let’s start off this week with our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, as he shares with us another in his insightful series - ‘Signs of The Approach of the Apocalypse’… Buzzard reports, I attended several Holiday/Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzai parties over the past week and have a few more to go before the ‘season of the goodwill’ is all over. However, it’s not all happiness and joy as evidenced by those folks who seem to get into such a flap over the ‘Happy Holiday’ or ‘Merry Christmas’ thing. I have heard of Valley folks refusing to attend Valley events because they were called a ‘Holiday Party’ and not a ‘Christmas Party’, and vice versa, I should add. Oh, please! Does it really matter? Of course I know the ‘big picture’ arguments as to why it might cause concern amongst both the ‘extreme P.C. crowd’ and the ‘bible-thumpers’, but really, to miss out on a lovely evening spent with friends simply because of the evening’s title?… Surely this time of year gives us all, including those who spend most of the time up on their soapboxes or pontificating from their ivory towers, to simply spend quality with loved ones and appreciate them being in our lives. But that’s easy for me to say – and so I just did…

As a pontificator of some repute myself (see example above), perhaps a couple of thoughts on this topic should provide your Quotes of the Week… First up, it’s former Presidential hopeful Adlai Stevenson, a man noted for his intellectual demeanor, eloquent oratory, and promotion of liberal causes, who said “The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions.” Perfect - it’s certainly the very expensive price I seem to pay on my Valley travels… And then there is the classic comment on free speech from Voltaire who famously said, “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”… Couldn’t have said it better myself…

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #252 – The vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital are back – they will be at The A.V. Farm Supply tomorrow, Thursday, Dec 15 from 2-3.30pm. They have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then wait a long time - everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will be seen… #253 – It’s the Christmas Carols Sing-a-long with pianist Lynn Archambault at 8.30pm this Saturday, Dec 17 at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville… #254 – Tomorrow is your last chance to enjoy a lunch at the Senior Center until 2012 as they will be closed until Tuesday, Jan 3… #255 – No Barn Sale this month…

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… Several regulars toasted the quick recovery from surgery to remove his gall bladder that Bob Sites will undergo this coming Friday. As this small organ aids in fat digestion and concentrates bile produced by the liver, I actually believe that a gall-less Bob will quite possibly be even better company than the previous version!…

… Kids sitting on a barstool at the bar?… This topic has been a hot one of late and something which, as a bar patron of many decades standing, I personally feel quite strongly about. To be blunt - they really should not be there! If for one minute I have to censor my comments or the topic of my conversation because a young kid is sitting next to me at a bar stool, then we’re clearly further down the road to Armageddon than I had previously thought… And it’s not just for me – it’s for the sake of ‘the little ones’ too! Would any parent really want their child to hear the foul-mouthed and frequently tasteless gibberish that is spoken by so many, so often, as they pontificate at a bar surrounded by like-minded friends and acquaintances? I thought not…

… Talking of gibberish, what is on the current criteria list for getting a show on KZYX & Z? From what I heard over the 90.7 fm airwaves one afternoon this past week, I can only deduce that being ‘articulate’ and ‘not mumbling inaudibly’ did not make the list in every case. I know, I know, I know – they are volunteers. But a Turkey Vulture like me could kindly and generously volunteer my time to look after your baby lambs while you were out of town – I would do my best not to, but it doesn’t meant that I would be able to stop myself from eating one or two while you were gone…

… A couple of regulars have heard through the Valley’s widespread grapevine that Deputy Walker was planning to take the Valley’s ‘Best Friend’, Bullet the police dog, to the high school last week in response to the increasing concerns of many staff regarding the permeating marijuana odor that sometimes emanates from certain areas of the campus. I am very aware that many of the students are frequently exposed to marijuana in our culture up here but smoking/selling it at school is obviously quite unacceptable. For reasons that you can work out for yourselves, the students were tipped off by an ‘inside source’ that this search was going to happen and nothing was found. However, the warning has been given, future unscheduled ‘investigations’ by Bullet are on the agenda, and if any incriminating evidence is found there most certainly will be serious repercussions for those involved…

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave…Until we talk again, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace – it’s been two years and you continue to be missed…

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… While many of you will have seen me there, others would perhaps like to know that I spent a lovely evening in the company of the Independent Career Women at their Holiday Party held last week at Wellspring, or ‘River’s Bend’ as I believe it is now called. As a ‘male significant other’, it is the one time of the year that we are allowed into the inner sanctum, as it were, and the food, wine, and company were all excellent. However, to have the table-cloths removed at 8.30pm whilst still sipping an after-dinner drink was somewhat startling and then to be flying home at 9.15pm was even more unusual - the party was just getting starting and the music only a few songs in! This was explained when one of the hostesses half-jokingly said “Well, we need our beauty sleep and the wine has nearly gone!”…

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #443 – The movement to ‘Save Hendy Woods’ is holding a community meeting tonight, Dec 7^th, at 7pm at The Grange – your support would be greatly appreciated… #444 – The Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will be returning to the Valley for their December visit on Thursday 15^th. As always they will be at The A.V. Farm Supply from 2pm - 3.30pm and have asked me to inform you that you do not have to arrive early and then have to wait a long time. In fact, everyone showing up at anytime before 3.30pm will definitely be seen… #445 – Sunday, Dec 11^th is the date of the Holiday Pot Luck Dinner at The Grange. The Food Shed folks and Grangers will provide the ham, turkey, stuffing, potatoes and gravy – everyone else brings the rest and their own tableware. This is an alcohol-free event (inside The Grange Hall anyway!?) although at the time of writing I’m not sure if it is Ukeholic-free too!… #446 - Next Tuesday, Dec 13^th is the second Tuesday so that means Dinner and Bingo at the Senior Center – good food, beer and wine, top quality bingo with prizes, and, as you know by now - you don’t have to be a senior to attend!…… And a couple of very early heads-up’s - #447 - The A.V. Senior Center Crab Feed will be held in the Apple Hall on Saturday, January 14^th, 2012… #448 – And then there is the Original Crab Feed scheduled for Saturday, February 5^th, 2012, also at The Apple Hall in Boonville. I’m giving you plenty of notice on these two major Valley events because some of you may wish to give Xmas gifts to loved ones in the form of tickets. If so please contact organizers Gina Pardini at 895-3609 for the Jan 14^th big night out or Gloria Ross at 895-3071 for the Feb 4^th extravaganza.

With that ‘Save Hendy Woods’ meeting taking place tonight, I thought of The Old Buzzard’s comment earlier this year which probably sums up both the positive thoughts and serious concerns for many of us about what the future holds… Here they are, your Quote of the Week – “I visited Hendy Woods this past weekend. Is there a more perfect location in which to reflect on one’s existence, the meaning of life, to be thankful for all that we have, and be at one with nature? Not in my experience there isn’t, and the thought that this very special place may be closed to the public is surely one of the more distressing signs that the Apocalypse is indeed approaching”…

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave and bid you farewell for another week… Until we meet again, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace…

p.p.p.s. Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?…

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Talking of ‘sitting comfortably’, that was something not at all easy to do after the vast amount of food that I devoured on Thanksgiving. You too, eh? The Turkey Coma was in full effect for about four hours and I really must try to behave with some moderation next year - but there is something about a vulture eating a turkey that is just so irresistible…

My philosophy regarding the Thanksgiving Day festivities, and I assume I’m in the majority on this, can be summed up by these words from the wonderful novelist and short story writer, W. Somerset Maugham (‘Of Human Bondage’ (1915)), who wisely observed, “Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” – good stuff, William… Of course I could have given you the classic comment on this topic by William Blake. In fact, as this is the mantra for any self-respecting Turkey Vulture, I think I will add it anyway. It was Blake, a fine poet, who said, “The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” Who can argue with those for your Quotes of the Week?!

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #382 – The Independent Career Women (I.C.W.) celebrate the holidays with their annual party on Friday, Dec 2nd at Wellspring just outside Philo. This is one of the most sought after tickets of the season, for men anyway. I hope to be there, representing my gender and species, and, as is my custom over the years, I shall endeavor to be the last to leave once again. I think I’ll have a good chance of keeping up that record, unless of course I am asked to leave early following some kind of ‘unfortunate misunderstanding’… #383 – The annual Holiday Bazaar sponsored by the A.V. Unity Club is this coming weekend, on Saturday Dec 3 at the Apple Hall in Boonville from 10am to 4pm. Christmas gifts and food, raffle, snack bar, and my personal favorite, photographs with Santa Claus, who, let me assure you, is neither the thinly-disguised A.V.A. Supremo Bruce Anderson nor a former owner of the A.V. Brewery, despite vicious rumors to the contrary… #384 – Just so you know well in advance, the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be here on Thursday, Dec 15 – more details next week…

Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… A number of regulars have been very disappointed to read that A.V. High School quarter-back, Garrett Mezzannatto, oldest son of Kevin and Reneé Lee (Wyant), was forced to wait over two weeks to get an M.R.I. after receiving a serious knee injury on the final play of his high school career at Pt. Arena back on ‘Black Saturday’ – Nov 5th, a day so-called after both football and soccer high school teams lost their final games of the season with championships beckoning. This delay occurred despite the fact that he had medical insurance. It was primarily a result of the usual bureaucratic bullsh*t and gives us yet another insight into the inefficiency of our health system and an example of a situation that would almost certainly not occur in the many nations around the world that have ‘civilized’ healthcare systems in place. As the editor of this esteemed organ would say – ‘it’s criminal.’ Meanwhile, the injury means that this fine young man’s final seasons of high school basketball and baseball could be in doubt, although if anyone can return to play in either of these sports after this particular injury then it would be Garrett… We here at the 3-Dot wish him the very best on a speedy return to both the boards and the mound…

… Talking of medical matters, despite the recent school board election process taking place, during which the board’s activities and functions being under the ‘microscope’ as it were, it still seems that to most regulars at the 3-Dot, and to folks around the Valley in general, it comes as a surprise when told that School Board Members get medical insurance through the school as a perk of the job… Not that there is anything wrong with that…

… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series - ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’… Buzzard reports, “Several regulars have recently commented, many of them quite angrily, on the wide range of propane prices in the Valley at this time of year. I have done intensive research and in summation it would seem that the whole propane business is one big racket with deals offered either with little rhyme or reason or at the discretion of the person in the office, particularly if the threat of changing company is made. Meanwhile, special offers are made to entice new customers, mysterious add-on fees and surcharges appear on bills, and exorbitant charges are made to remove tanks if a customer changes their propane company. All-in-all, it is a very unsatisfactory situation and I can only advise propane users take these few precautions. Try to compare the prices of the four main companies – Suburban Propane (462-3858), Ferrellgas (463-1515), Eel River Fuels (462-5554), and Redwood Coast Fuels (463-3100) and get them to lock in your opening price for as long as you can; check bills from one to the next and be aware of significant price rises per gallon; if your price per gallon goes up, call to inquire why and do not be put off with vague explanations – ask to talk to the supervisor if you are not satisfied. Personally, up here at the Nest we have Suburban but their customer relations are pathetic and their prices high and non-negotiable at this time. A move to the more locally-owned and certainly cheaper ($3.09 compared to $3.99) Eel River Fuels is a distinct possibility once I get to deal with the annoying tank removal… Good luck with this, you will need it.

Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Until we meet again - ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace…

Greetings - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… A Happy Thanksgiving to one and all for tomorrow’s big event! What a great day – “Well done!” to whoever thought of it… This Mother-of-All national holidays, and by far my personal favorite, is all about celebrating with friends and family. Throw in food, drink, and football and it surely can’t get much better than that!

Anyway, as you digest that unnecessary yet unavoidable second helping of food tomorrow, and before your nap, perhaps you will be inclined to summon up the energy to take part in my Thanksgiving Day Quiz… Answers at the end of the column…

1. How many people were aboard the Mayflower when it set sail from England in 1620? a) 35 b) 88 c) 102 d) 148 e) 715

2. One year after the pilgrims had arrived at Plymouth Rock half of them had died. So, as they sat down to the first Thanksgiving, what would you say was the ration of men to women at that historical event? a) Even b) 2:1 c) 5:1 d) 9:1

3. What color was ‘taboo’ to the new settlers and was never worn?

a) Red b) Purple c) Blue d) Black e) Brown & Gold

4. What was the last name of the Mayflower’s Captain?

a) Smith b) Brown c) Jones d) Bligh e) Pardini

5. Which two teams in the N.F.L. traditionally play at home on every Thanksgiving – one since 1934, the other since the 70’s?

6. How many degrees can a Turkey see with its eyes?

a) 360 b) 270 c) 180 d) 90

7. What is America’s favorite dessert on Thanksgiving?

a) Pumpkin Pie b) Pecan Pie

c) Sweet Potato Pie d) Crème Brule

8. At the first Thanksgiving which of the following was approved table manners? a) To eat with your hands b) To spit on the floor

c) To throw bones into the fire when done d) All of these

9. Who pushed for the Turkey to be the nation’s national symbol?

a) Benjamin Franklin b) Abraham Lincoln

c) F.D.R. d) George W. Bush

10. Fish, fowl, peas, pumpkins, veal, beef, turkey…Which of these items was not on the very 1st Thanksgiving Day menu?

11. True or False? - Indians attended the first Thanksgiving feast.

12. True or False? - Thanksgiving is always the last Thursday of November.

13. True or False? Male Turkeys are the ones who make the gobbling sound.

14. True or False? The Pilgrims bought beer with them on the voyage to the New World.

15. True or False? At the early Thanksgivings, Turkey Vultures were also on the menu.

Staying with the “Thanksgiving” theme for the Quote of the Week, I have a few words from Matt Groening, creator of ‘The Simpsons’, to perhaps remember when all of the family is gathered together on the big day – “Families are all about love overcoming emotional torture”…Hey, it could have been worse – I was going to share Joseph Stalin’s comment about gratitude which is a feeling we should all perhaps have on this special day. He said “gratitude is a sickness suffered by dogs” – what a miserable bastard; I shall not be inviting him or his ilk over tomorrow!… O.K., let’s have a positive thought to finish with – and with the Thanksgiving Day Dinner the focal point for most of us, what better sentiments than those uttered by English novelist and essayist, Virginia Woolf, who very wisely pointed out, “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well” – who could possibly argue with that!…

Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #100 – It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow – just to remind the less alert amongst my readership… #101 – The annual Holiday Bazaar sponsored by the A.V. Unity Club is next weekend, Saturday Dec 3rd at the Apple Hall in Boonville from 10am to 4pm. More details next week… And that’s it – apparently a week dominated by Thanksgiving and not much else…

Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley where people gather and share their thoughts about Valley life…

… The 3-Dot was a little quiet last Saturday evening as several regulars decided to take a road trip out to Elk and ‘Bobby Beacon’s’ bar there – up on a hill overlooking the small town and the ocean beyond. It is owned and run by the Elk Fire Chief of that name and with his generous drinks and the bar’s friendly atmosphere, it is no wonder that this very out-of-the-way location is popular – even the Valley’s Bloyd Family – Amy, Eric, and Mea - make it their regular Saturday night haunt!…

… The recent ‘Occupy Hendy Woods’ event was a success according to both those involved and those who attended. Up next, as the community and others try to keep this special place open to one and all, will be a short film and discussion on this very important topic at the 2012 A.V. Film Festival in January…

… The regulars who stayed in town came to the almost unanimous decision that for bar snacks it is very difficult to do better than Lauren’s fries and The Buckhorn’s chicken wings… No argument here…

… A few other customers decided to by-pass the road-trip to the coast, and both the bar snack discussion in the 3-Dot and the Hendy Woods event, to travel down to Rincon Valley just northeast of Santa Rosa, to watch the #2-seeded A.V. High School girls compete in their postseason Volleyball final against the #1 R.V. Christians. And they must be so delighted they did. In what was apparently one of the most amazing games in this program’s long, storied, and very successful history, the Lady Panthers came out on top in a five-set thriller 25-19, 17-25, 25-23, 23-25, 16-14 to clinch their second successive post season title. Many congratulations to the players and Coach ‘Flick’ McDonald…

Well, why not finish on that very high note, I say? I’m outta here… Remember to ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – Happy Thanksgiving!

Answers to the Quiz…

1. Answer c). 102 – 74 males, 28 females. (2 dogs, no Turkey Vultures).

2. Answer d). With only fifty-one survivors, the ration of men to women was 9:1 – there were just five women remaining! I couldn’t possibly comment further…

3. Answer b). Purple. It was associated with wealth and the upper classes in the Old World at that time.

4. Answer c). Jones. His name was Christopher Jones

5. The Detroit Lions (since 1934) and the Dallas Cowboys play at home on this day every year, which for the hapless fans of the Lions, in recent years anyway, has generally meant a miserable Thanksgiving.

6. Answer b). A Turkey can see for 270 degrees around it. This would explain why you’ve had little luck when trying to creep up and capture a wild one for dinner. I suggest you just buy one from Lemons’ Market!

7. Answer a). Pumpkin Pie, although Freshly Squished Squirrel Pie covered in a creamy entrails sauce is the pie of choice here at The Nest.

8. Answer d). All were acceptable – similar to Thanksgiving at The Nest where guests are encouraged to partake in each of these.

9. Answer a). Benjamin Franklin – a great man and obviously a true visionary.

10. Beef. Not even bulls’ testicles or cow eyes. Too bad…

11. True. The Indians easily outnumbered the Pilgrims, more than half of whom had died over that first year.

12. False. It’s always the 4th Thursday of November, even when November has five Thursdays.

13. True. Females do not.

14. True. Yer gotta like that.

15. False. That would be unacceptable, although possibly quite tasty.